Healing Hearts 125/12

[Ser Jorah Holt]

Castle Grenward 125/12

As had become her want, Lady Alianna Coldbrook sat in her room when not needed by her husband or out by Joren's grave, mourning their lost son. The beautiful Lady of the house had become a fragile doll. The slightest knock, a further blow could shatter her entirely. Attempts by her family to help her recover had not succeeded and some feared that she would fade away.

There was a knock at her door. She sighed and motioned for her lady in waiting to answer, not turning away from looking out of the window

Ser Jorah stood there, resplendant in his plate armour.

"
Your horse is ready milady."


Lady Coldbrook sighed wearily.

"
I thank you for your offer Ser Jorah, but today is not a good day."


“Now milady,"
Ser Jorah smiled, not willing to take no for an answer,"
you would not deny your protector one last ride before he leaves for Kings Landing. It is a lovely day, but a little chilly so wrap up warm."


Ser Jorah's Dornish blood meant he had always felt the cold of House Coldbrook's aptly named lands.

Alianna sighed again, realising that House Coldbrook's implacable champion was not to be dissuaded. At least he will be free of this dark keep's misfortune, although is it any kindness to leave his mother and siblings behind to suffer Castle Grenward's curse?

Outside in the courtyard, Ser Jorah waited with Argo and Lady Coldbrook's horse

She climbed up on her horse, after spending a moment to steel herself she noted her dear departed Joren's arming sword tied to her saddle. It is a useless thing like me now, broken in my brave boy's fall, just as I was shattered alongside it.

"
Ser Jorah, why is my son's sword present?"


"
Milady's son will defend her, unto death and beyond."


They rode for some time, eventually reaching a hill that overlooked Castle Grenward.

"
Joren used to like this hill. He said it gave a sense of distance and perspective at once - you could see much of House Coldbrook's lands at once, drawing comfort and strength from them, yet were far enough from voices and commands to be untroubled by the day's concerns,"
said Jorah.

"
I remember. Lord Coldbrook introduced this place to him."


Her voice wavered for a moment, as memories came flooding back to her.

"
I miss him. Joren was always full of life, bright and cheerful, bringing joy to all of his family. But his passing, I fear he took my life with him.
I have spent the last two years trying to find who I should blame."


“You for not being there, but you were not supposed to be. You had been given leave to joust, but I confess your name was among those I cursed."


"
Lord Coldbrook for filling his head with all the martial nonsense. What boy does not desire to prove himself to his father? What boy can match Lord Coldbrook's deeds and strength?"


House Coldbrook's ruling relationship was one of mutual respect by now, not for them the affection of frequent informal first name usage. It was "
Lord Coldbrook"
and "
Lady Coldbrook"
, not "
Tomas"
and "
Alianna"
.

"
Daveth, my sweet Daveth - I curse myself here for pushing him to claim his place as heir. I wanted a beautiful, strong brave son. The Seven cursed me with what I desired and his very qualities destroyed him. I selfishly wanted Daveth to inherit and now fear this will destroy him in turn. Desire it was kills us Jorah."


She turn her back on Jorah briefly.

"
Perhaps it is best you are to wear the white cloak, to shield yourself from desire and downfall."


She turns back towards the knight now.

"
Garret,” her voice became a little harder, for she had never been comfortable with Lord Coldbrook's bastard. “I hated him for not protecting his brother."


"
Ser Theomore,” she practically spat the name when she said it. “For taking his life away, but … as much of a cur as he is and as much as we want to believe that this was some scheme of his, perhaps it was simply an accident as he claims, or some test from the Seven? I admit I even hated my gods for a time."


"
In the end, when I ran out of other to blame, I came to curse myself. I believed it was I that was to blame. I failed him as his mother."


"
That would have been the last thing that Joren would have wanted,"
offered Jorah.

"
You know my history Jorah, my first husband died when Daveth was young and my own family viewed me as a liability, another two mouths to feed. When my family arranged for me to wed Lord Coldbrook, it was not for my benefit;
it was to remove my presence from their hall and to lay claim to Castle Grenward when undoubtedly this upstart commoner house was to fall. Now Joren dying as well, there is only one thing that can be true."


There was an uncomfortable pause as she she search for the words."


"
I fear I am cursed, not Castle Grenward."


“Milady, in your list of whom you blame, you forgot one important name … that of Joren himself. A man is the author of his own successes, but also of his own mishaps."


“How dare you Ser Jorah?” Lady Coldbrook was startled at the suggestion and angry. In her mind, she had built up her son on a pedestal. The best of Daveth, the best of Garret, a crucible to burn away the worst qualities of each.

“Joren should have been riding in the Squire’s joust. Deciding to face knights two or three times his age was a brave folly, but a folly nonetheless. Yes he wanted to prove himself."


"
He made a choice."


"
As for your curse, there has always been talk of Castle Grenward being cursed.
There is nothing to these stories. What has happened unfortunately is life."


Her hand lashed out, striking Ser Jorah on the cheek, before she pounded on his chest, her fists thudding repeatedly with a dull echo on his breastplate

She collapsed into the mane of her horse, her fury spent and her voice was strained.

“Why…” she sobbed, “why did they have to take him?"


"
The Stranger knows when it is our time,"
said Jorah sombrely.

"
Damn the Gods Jorah. A parent should not have to outlive their child. How do I move on? How can I just leave him in the past?"


"
We all feel his loss, but you know better than most. Come with me."


The pair dismounted, and Lady Coldbrook took Ser Jorah's arm and looked out at the home the knight was leaving behind.

"
Look down there in Grenward, you know my sister and everything she went through after Patrek’s murder.

Down in the hamlet, some of the children were playing, a few of the ladies joining in as Trelane made a vain effort to appoint himself the judge of their frolics before giving up and joining in.

"
There is a good chance that Daveth will be married. With him, there will be new life to this castle;
a daughter or son, a grandchild to dote on. I can’t tell you how to move on with your life, only that you will have to find something."


"
If you do not, then you will fail your family."


Lady Coldbrook looked at him, her eyes red from tears, but her face impassive as she had regained her composure. Alianna walked to her horse and unsheathed her son's sword, knowing even before drawing it that Ser Jorah must have had the blade repaired. She planted it firmly in the ground to look out from Joren's hill, pausing for some time in silent prayer.

“I think it is time to go home ..."
she regarded Ser Jorah, a tiny twinkle in her eye, the first he had seen in a while.

"
But I think we should race home,"
she shouted, kicking her horse into a gallop

Ser Jorah laughed and spurred Argo to follow.