Re: [D6:MM]The Storm before the Calm before the Storm (close

by **Baelon Drakeson** Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:12 pm

"
No Corrine, it's not a misery competition... but I will not pity you. You didn't want to lead House Marsten? You could have followed tradition and let Ben be the head, and you his consort. Or did you not trust Ben to be head of the house? Additionally, Loreia was right - you were given an honor in receiving the King's banner, but you are the one that decided it meant you were in charge. If you have suffered for being in charge, you have brought it upon yourself. No, I will not pity you. That suffering is a product of your own ambition, whether you see it or not."

He snorts in derision.

"
I'm sure that the same people who would rejoice in you failing here would rejoice equally in me failing as well. I never once said I could do better than you, Corrine. The shit you've been dealing with this week was a trap. Your ambition led you to step proudly into that trap, but it would have equally sprung on anyone. Now that you have stepped into it though, there is no going back. If you run, it will bring ridicule and maybe even ruin upon House Marsten. You would truly be a failure if you ran. No, everything I said in the assembly was true - the only way forward is to deal with the shit, and to get the longest peace you can. It won't last forever, and probably nowhere near the fifty years that the Old King got, but every year of peace more and more will see you as a good, strong, wise leader."

He scowls.

"
... but don't you dare act as though the problems between our houses are all my doing. I tried to be friendly, but have gotten nothing but grief for it. You both have been disdainful, dismissive, and downright insulting to me and my house. You chose to interpret my words and deeds in negative ways. Did you once stop to ask why I did what I did and said what I said? No, you deemed yourselves perfect interpreters of my actions, and did not give me the benefit of even a shred of doubt. I know I can be lacking in tact. Gwyn has informed me of that numerous times and I have no reason not to believe her... but if you want to repair this rift between us, you have got to at least consider that I might not be always attacking. If you think I am, ask me. I'll have no problem telling you if I am."

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:17 pm

"
Corrine,"
Gwyneth exhaled, shocked. "
That's not how we feel at all."

She waited for Baelon to finish, then got up and went to her cousin's side, kneeling down so their heads were level.

"
I had no idea that's what it looked like to you...that we were only there for the Blackthornes. Of course I wanted to see you, Corrie. I missed you so much."
She reached for Corrine's hands, to take them in her own. "
Do you know what I'd do sometimes, at Caladan Hall, when I was trying to keep things together while Baelon was off fighting the Clans? I would ask myself what you'd do. You've always been an inspiration to me...how could I ever not care about seeing you? What you've done at Hartshorn is little less than a miracle...and even if he's clumsy about how he shows it sometimes, Baelon admires you as well."

Gwyn reached up to push a lock of Corrine's hair back from her eyes. "
Athelsten was a mistake, but one that is only clear in hindsight. Baelon wasn't going to the mine to arrest Athelsten. Seeing him there with you...he felt like he had to act. He was afraid Athelsten might try to involve you, or that he might try to take you hostage. He had to make a decision right then and there, and...he made a mistake. The wrong decision for the right reasons. It's all right to be angry over it, but don't feel like he wasn't being your friend. He really was trying to protect you. He's been trying to do that all this time."

by **Baelon Drakeson** Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:23 pm

"
Hmph. I still say it was no mistake. As far as I knew he had all that wildfire. That he would not stand down and submit to questioning only made him seem more guilty. What was I to do, let him go to blow up Gods-knows-what, killing Gods-know how many? No, he needed to be arrested then and there, as soon as he knew his deceptions had been discovered. That he chose to die rather than submit was not my fault. If I had backed down, he'd just have lied to us."

by **Benedict Marsten** Fri Dec 18, 2015 1:09 pm

"
You dislike our interpretation of your words and actions. We find your lack of faith in our abilities disturbing. We can go on for hours rearranging words and finding new faults in each other. This exercise is futile.

If you have new problems that we have not addressed or are not happy with our responses to the previous, then lets get to that."

His voice strains to stay level, but is a bit icy. The only change to his calm demeanor a snippet of annoyance in Corrine's direction and a look of 'I told-you-so.' to Gwyn.

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Fri Dec 18, 2015 1:13 pm

"
No,"
Gwyn quickly demurred. "
This is where we need to be. We can't move forward onto new things while we're still at odds. Otherwise these problems will just get buried more and more deeply, and be harder and harder to get at. I thought maybe that wasn't the case, but I see now I was wrong."

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Fri Dec 18, 2015 3:48 pm

"
Gwyn..."
Corrine murmured through her tears, her wobbling chin and erratic breath making it hard to form words. "
I... can't do... this. I'm trying... so... so... hard. I'm ex...hausted."

She sank forward like a ragdoll, her face buried in Gwyn's hair, and sobbed, clutching Gwyn's hands as though they were her only anchor to the world.

"
I can't..."

The rest was lost in incoherence, drowned by her incontinent tears.

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Fri Dec 18, 2015 4:00 pm

Gwyn rose up a little to spare Corrine the need to lean down much, and embraced her, letting her cry against her shoulder.

After a moment of gently rocking her to and fro, she looked at the others in the room and said softly, "
Would you two give us a moment? Just...try not to antagonize each other."

by **Benedict Marsten** Fri Dec 18, 2015 4:10 pm

Ben begins to rise graciously with a look of sympathy, that quickly shifts to a head shake and rolling eyes at Gwyn's last words. He looks to Corrine for approval before leaving.

(assuming approval) Ben gives a short bow to Baelon and ducks out the tent flap. He puts some distance between him self and the tent.

by **Baelon Drakeson** Sat Dec 19, 2015 5:43 am

Baelon rises to leave, and walks around the table.
"
You are wrong, Ben. It is not your capabilities I find fault with at all."

He places a hand gently on the back of Gwyn's neck, and bends down to kiss the top of her head. He opens his mouth to say something to Corrine, then thinks better of it. Giving Gwyn a worn smile, he follows Ben outside.

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Sun Dec 20, 2015 11:15 pm

It takes sevrral minutes before Corrine's breathing slows enough for her to speak, and even then, it is little more than a ragged mumble.

"
I'm... so sorry, Gwyn. It's just... it's all gotten to be too much. I'm trying so hard... but..."

She tries to straighten up, smiffling, hastily wiping her tear-streaked face, embarrassed by her loss of composure.

"
I don't know what to do... about anything."

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:09 am

Gwyn has her little handkerchief ready for just such an emergency, and dabs it over Corrine's cheeks before offering it to her so she can attend to her eyes.

"
Well, this is a good start,"
she comforts. "
Not suffering in silence. Reaching out for help, when it's needed. There's no shame in that, Corrine. Anything else is brittle pride, and could be very dangerous."

"
I am so very sorry that I've been distant...my nose firmly embedded in my own affairs, and not around to help you more. I should have come to you the very first day, and met you every day afterwards. I could have kept you up on what we were investigating...maybe warned you about Athelsten sooner, and avoided that whole situation..."

She sighs and gives Corrine a sad smile. "
I'll do better. As for Baelon...he sees things very clearly in his mind, but his heart is so much more guarded. He didn't understand. Frankly, he probably still doesn't. All he saw was himself trying to help, and you getting upset for no reason."
Gwyn smiles. "
And from there it escalates and escalates, and...here we are."

"
It's going to be all right though, Corrine. Things aren't as bad as they seem."

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:25 am

Corrine takes the handkerchief gratefully, still sniffly and taking gulping breaths in an attempt to calm down.

"
But I don't know what he wants. He just seems to want to rant at me and tell me all the things he doesn't like. How is that achieving anything? He doesn't understand how I feel. I don't know if he even cares. He just seems to want to... 'win'. But there's nothing to win! It's not like I can undo any of this mess. Ben and I are just trying to be fair as we can and get on with it so we can go home."

Corrine stares hopelessly into her lap, her eyes full of despair, her complexion pale and tired.

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:01 am

"
In his mind, pointing out where he thinks you're going wrong is helping you,"
Gwyn admits. "
It's a...tough sort of help. The sort he expects, and therefore the sort he often gives out. That much more so since he feels his advice isn't finding fertile ground in you. It may not help to hear, but...it's a token of his esteem that he is still trying. Those he truly does not respect, or wish to help, he doesn't extend this much effort to try to reach."

She smiles wryly. "
Even if he is...inflexible about how he extends it. In this case though, it's not about what you or Ben is doing wrong. It's about what is happening around you, hidden from you. Baelon's...desperate, to be honest. He wants to try to take care of it all himself...but seeing what happened last time he tried that, now he wants to try to get you and Ben to do it. But of course, in the heat of the moment, and with all the distrust and anger he's built up, you're not inclined to listen to him. And yet the threat grows."

"
I'm not saying I don't understand your position. I really do. I know he's gone about this the wrong way about. You can't make the head listen while the heart hurts. We should have tried to mend the bad feelings immediately. But that's hindsight again...at the time, we had several crises to deal with and very little time to devote to any one of them."

"
The irony of Baelon is this. For all his...skill..."
Her lips twist just a little at that, "
...in seducing wide-eyed maids, he doesn't really understand how women see the world, or him. Nor does he really understand how to talk to them. He tried to...to school you, I suppose. Like he might a squire. Never quite grasping how that would make you feel...just confident that you'd immediately see the wisdom in his words and be eager for your lesson."

Gwyn chuckled a little. "
I've done a poor job training him, I'm afraid."

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:13 am

Corrine listened, taking deep breaths, trying to take in what Gwyn was saying.

"
I can't stop any of the threats, Gwyn. I can't make or keep peace. What does Baelon want me to do? If I'm supposed to fail at the remit, then what am I supposed to do? I couldn't stop the wildfire attack. I couldn't save everyone. I'm going to be blamed for all our failings. Baelon is wrong. It's not ambition that has driven me. It's duty. Here and at home. Someone needed to do something, and I'm someone. I am trying to make things better, but they keep getting worse."

She rubbed her temples, trying to stop babbling.

"
There's a rotting head in a box at our oavilion, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it."

She shook her head incredulously.

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:50 am

Gwyn blinked at that, but quickly organized her mental list of topics to cover. She couldn't let herself get led off track that easily. This was a critical moment.

"
First of all, I think you're underestimating the good we've done here. We didn't manage to avert the wildfire, no...but I feel confident in saying that we interfered with it rather severely, both before the attack was carried out and afterwards. We've uncovered many hidden things, brought many truths to light. The threat is not the peace treaty now. Oh, it will be something that needs attention and effort to close, but the threats now are more personal, and more political."

"
Baelon sees plots in the shadows around you, and wants you to protect yourself. This isn't just the larger question of 'were you set up to fail.' That sort of thing is, perversely perhaps, a bit easier to deal with. It hinges almost entirely on how you're seen to have done, and there are many ways to influence that. The problem I think is that you're so focused on the 'truths' of this duty, you're neglecting the larger truth, which is that the truth doesn't matter very much. At least, not as far as House Marsten is seen to emerge from all this."

"
I'm not saying the investigation doesn't matter, but rather that there are those who would find ways to turn all your successes...and you have had them, Corrine, even if you don't give yourself credit for them...into irrelevancies. Those who have never forgotten the greens and blacks, and who you are, and who they are. You've worked so hard to put politics aside for this...and that is being used against you. Ruthlessly."

"
That is what he's been trying to warn you about in his...ham-handed sort of way."

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:08 am

"
So, what am I to do now? I just want to do what is right and protect the innocent. Tell me what I need to do, Gwyn. I am so unpreoared for all of this. It feel so out of control."

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:20 am

"
The first thing you've got to do is...take a deep breath."
Gwyn demonstrated, sucking in a double lungful of air, then slowly letting it out.

"
Now is the time for clear thought. Methodical thought. You have problems. You need solutions. The first step is to recognize what your problems are. Perhaps make a list? I find writing things out helps me sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed. Seeing everything reduced to letters on a page makes them feel smaller somehow. And it makes me feel like I have power over them...that's important. There's nothing worse than feeling helpless. Let me get a quill and some parchment."

She got up and bustled around the little travel desk that had been set up not far off.

"
Now, close your eyes, take a breath, and think about everything that's been happening here. Not in detail, mind. Just...overall. And then tell me what problems trouble you. Lets stay away from very broad things like, 'I don't know what to do,' though. More specific things like, 'I don't know who my enemies are.'"

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:56 am

Corrine did as she was told. A long, deep breath, though it felt shaky. She held it a moment, then exhaled heavily, keeping her eyes closed.

"
That's a good start. I definitely don't know who my enemies are."

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 1:29 pm

"
Well then, what do we do about that?"
Gwyn rhetorically asked, pleased.

"
Lets start with the opposite. Who are your friends? The ones you feel you can trust. That will give us a place to start."

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:31 pm

Corrine stared into space silently for several moments.

"
I... don't know. I don't know anymore,"
came her horrifying realisation.

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:32 pm

"
Oh, Corrie,"
Gwyn sighed. She felt a little stab at her cousin's expression...and even more at her knowing exactly what Corrine was realizing. It was a loss of innocence, of a sort, and it hurt a little to see. She had a sense it perhaps ought to hurt a little more, really...but the sympathetic pain was mingled with a certain satisfaction, and relief. It wasn't too late for Corrine.

"
You do know, at least some. Bennedict, for example. And since you're here, I'll assume I'm on that list as well."
Gwyn smiled. "
There may be others, yes? Kevan Lyras?"

"
But you're right about one thing...don't award that status too easily. At the same time, don't fall into the trap of feeling like there's no one you should trust. There's a delicate balance, and a sort of constant vigilance that's required, but you can't do everything by yourself."

With a chuckle, Gwyn added, "
That lesson was a bit hard for me, I admit."

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:37 pm

"
Oh of course. I trust Ben with my life. Perhaps I said that wrong. I do trust people. Too many, possibly. Too easily. But being here has scared me. Made me realise that I've been too trusting. For all my social training, it was never really focused on political astuteness. I learned to be charming and empathic, but that's it. I'm not clever or cunning like you."

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:46 pm

"
And if you were now incapable of learning more, that would be a much larger problem than it is,"
Gwyn quipped with a grin. "
But as it is, it's only as much of a problem as you make it. You have a clear path then. Find people who are clever and cunning, and whom you can trust. Use them to cover your blind spots for now, and to teach you."

"
There's no better time to begin than the present. I think you'll find that having such assistance will go a long ways towards helping you solve the problem of who your enemies are...and knowing that will give you what you need to know how to protect yourself, and your House."

She waved a hand around in a little circle.

"
It's all connected, you see. Solve one problem, and it puts the tools in your hands to solve the next, and so on. The key is figuring out which problem to solve first...which one is that crucial one that will be the first link in the chain."

by **Lady Corrine Marsten** Mon Dec 21, 2015 11:12 pm

Corrine looked around thoughtfully.

"
Well, since I came here to discuss Baelon's problems with me, then perhaps we should address those. What is it he wants from me?"

by **Gwyneth Drakeson** Mon Dec 21, 2015 11:24 pm

"
The same thing I want,"
Gwyn answered. "
I'm just going about it differently."

She smiled and sat back in her seat a little, relaxing muscles she hadn't realized she'd tensed.

"
He wants you to be a strong ally. I suppose he'd say something like, 'I want you to listen when I'm trying to help you, and not get upset,' but what he really wants is..."
Gwyneth considers for a moment, then decides, "
...is to not have to worry about you. That's the feeling I get from him anyway. He's been wearing holes in our carpets pacing so much, trying to figure out how to tell you what you need to hear when it feels, to him, like he can't say anything without digging himself in deeper."

"
And there's only so much I can do to explain to him why he's having so much trouble. His errors, like his successes, come from his heart. And the heart can be a slow learner."

"
If he comes back, and you tell him that you're not going to ignore politics...and that you have a plan for finding out who your enemies are and what they're doing...that will ease his mind greatly. After that, it's just a mild case of wounded pride, which he can damn well deal with on his own after putting you through the wringer like that."
Gwyneth laughed.

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[D6:MM]The Storm before the Calm before the Storm (closed)